The society judge you yet they say you can be yourself..
Why is the world so complicated?
Why can't things be simple as ABC?
Why must there be sentences?
Why must there be things like verbs, adverbs, adjectives & nouns?
I just want a simple life..
The more we have,
The sadder we are.
This is not what I want.

I want you.

Today was a rough start..
Woke up to the wrong side of bed..
Actually it started with sleeping on the wrong side I guess..
Haha..
Anyway, went to school & it was all peaceful..
Then the playful side got the better of us..
We played "Escape The Blop" & then the day continued well..
Had the love hate module but all was rather peaceful..
Had quick dinner & started work until 10 30pm..
Super tired & mentally drained..
CRM still not done..

Sometimes I wonder, how would the world be like without them?

It has been a tough time lately..
It is just so depressing until I have nothing to say anymore..
Why?
Why are there just so many people like that?
It hurts. So bad.
It sucks.
I really can't wait for this to be all over..
But I'm barely half way there..
This is really crap man.
I know these people shouldn't be bothering me and I should just ignore them.
But they are affecting me so much that I just cannot.
Maybe I'm not strong enough.
That's why these things happen in my life to make me a stronger person.
A better person.
It's okay if one is not strong in their academics.
But without EQ, you are dead.

I hate it when he blames himself..
I hate it when he say he is an idiot..
I hate it when he say he screwed things up..
I hate it..
It makes me feel so useless..
So worthless..
Like an idiot.. worse than an idiot..
I hate it..
Please don't say anymore..
Go to sleep.. Go..
I don't wanna hear anymore..
It breaks my heart..
Into million pieces..
Cuts my inside..
I just wanna cry..
Don't make me please..

Good Night..

It's been 1 week since I've blogged..
Getting so sick of school sometimes..
Wish this can all be over..
4 more months.. & I'll be done with acad..
Can't wait like seriously..
Although there will be many things to look forward this year..
I'm scared & worried..
He's graduating on Monday..
I'm leaving my 2nd home end of May..
He's enlisting late July..
I'm starting my school's internship in Aug, & outside internship in Dec..
He's passing out in Dec..
There is so much going on this year..
Then soon, I'll be graduating..
I bet when I look back at this post I'll be thinking how silly I am..
Gonna be laughing at myself..
Sigh..
Was at my 2nd home today & I realise the importance of all my girls..
Today many were there & I felt so family...
I'm so gonna miss all of them :'(
Girls, I love you..

You are my everything..
Of course I wanna be there on that special day..
But what are the odds?
What is the plan?
What are the details?
More than you,
I wish to be there with you, for you..
I'm okay,
I don't want you to worry..
I'm not okay,
I'm just expressing myself..
I wanna be with you for it,
But give me the chance and reason to do it..
Perhaps I'm unreasonable..
I'm sorry..
But it's because I love you,
that's why I'm fighting for you..

Today I was feeling very very very pissed & upset..
S, Z, W & I wanted to donate blood but we were all, yes all 4 of us, were rejected..
Z & I were underweight while W & S were rejected due to some "safety" issues (1 had a cut while the other had lozenges the day before)
Some stuff made me really really unhappy after that and boy..
My mood just dropped right off the cliff..
Thankfully, I had my dearest boy.
He cheered me up with some of the things I was recently into & made me smile.

To my dearest A,
I don't know if you will read this or not but anyway,
I'm very grateful for everything.
Thank You Baby ♡
I know it might not have been your "thing" to do such a thing but without this humor & funny you,
I think my day would just have been worse.
Please don't take that as acting or pretending because I just want us to play together.
Please do not think that I want you to be another person or be that other person with whatever personalities etc yeah?
I love you the way you are & I always will ♡
Just really love the playful us, once in a while of course :)
Thank You Mr A & Good Night to You ♡

Tomorrow will be the 1st day I'm going back after I told her about it..
Every day to me feels precious now..
I really hate this feeling..
It's a place where it makes me smile,
Learnt lots of new things,
Made lots of new friends,
Heard lots of thoughts..
It is also the place where it makes me angry & upset..
But of course, positive over negative.
I'll miss you soon..
I know I will..
I hope I won't cry on my last..
Stay strong girl.

I've said it.
I'm Sorry.
Really really am.
I don't wish to.
But I had to.
It shattered.
Million pieces.
Down it went.
To the bottom of my stomach, it flew.
It hurts.
So so so bad.
I don't know how to face it.
But I'm slowly accepting it.
Sorry.
Again.
I'll cherish every single day from now.
Every shift.
Every second.
No complains.
Every slice.
Every blend.
Every cup.
Every guest.
Every interaction.
I love you girls, all of you.
Maybe not.
At least most.
I'm Sorry.
My lovely ones.
We make choices.
And this was a hard one.
See you when I see you.
The final month.
Love you babes.